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3 Practical Things that Save my Sanity - TBH

 

image source: Canva

Welcome to the first edition of TBH, where I talk get down into the nitty gritty of what parenthood actually looks like for me.

When I first entered parenthood, I was told time and time again how great things would be, how children are God's greatest gift, and everything depicted on social media was just sunshine and daisies. Nobody told me that I might not bond with my child right away. Nobody prepared me for the intense physical pain recovering from birth would bring. Nobody told me that sometimes a person who has just given birth can experience extremely vivid dreams - sometimes hallucinations while awake. 

And thus, TBH was born. I believe all parents should feel safe and welcome to share their truths about what parenthood looks like for them. Rather than being met with judgement or feigned optimism, parents need to hear that they aren't alone. Also, getting professional help is never wrong, imo. 

As I sail through the motions of everyday life, sometimes my sanity is tested. Sometimes I might cry if I spill my coffee, because that was literally the string I was hanging on by. But I digress. Let's get into it.

3 THINGS THAT KEEP ME SANE

1. Exercise

Whether it's strapping my toddler into her stroller and walking to the park, or handing her off to my husband after he gets home from work and heading to the gym, getting my blood pumping and working up a good sweat is a daily requirement. 

I notice a tremendous difference between the days I get outside and/or get a good gym sesh in, vs. the days I sit around and do virtually nothing besides the daily routine. It's so important that I get some time to myself at least once a week; getting to the gym while dad stays home with the baby most definitely counts. 

2. Pursuing a hobby

In the early postpartum period I was severely depressed. For a majority of my daughter's first year of life, I thought to myself, "this is it. I can't pursue the things I loved before having a baby," which - TBH - is a huge lie. 

Yes, there were things I enjoyed like going to the movies that I couldn't do as often anymore, but for the most part I discovered that I could still do whatever I wanted, within reason of course, with a mini bestie in tow. 

In the first few months of my daughter's life, I picked crocheting back up again while my husband returned to rock climbing. It was tough to navigate parenting together for the first year because it was all new and scary and my husband and I both suffered postpartum depression. I found the nurturing, caring, hands-on aspect came pretty naturally, while it took my partner some time to get comfortable with it. Since then, we've got a pretty good and fair system going.

3. Alone time

If any of these things was more important than the others, it's this one. I still feel pangs of guilt when I leave the house without my daughter, but with practice it has slowly but surely gotten easier. I was raised by a stay at home mom, and so many of my friends' moms were always at home, so there was this sort of patriarchal ideal instilled in me that said "mom stays home, dad doesn't."

Of course, I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to not have to work. I do wonder how much longer we can keep it up in this economy, with prices skyrocketing as quickly as they are, but in the meantime I certinly do not take it for granted. However, being a stay at home mom can be incredibly isolating, which is why it's also important that I spend time with friends, and go out on dates with my spouse, without my daughter.


This list is by no means exhaustive. I practice mindfulness and breathing techniques throughout the day, and I absolutely utilize naptime to my advantage. I drink copious amounts of coffee, and I communicate openly with my husband to keep him aware and informed of where my head is at. Being at home allows me all the time I could ever need to accomplish housework, which is strangely theraputic for me. I would love to be the picture perfect mom who never has the TV on, but if I'm honest, it's literally always on as long as we're home and awake.


What are some practical things you do to stay sane? 












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