Parenthood Unhinged

  Travel with a Toddler: infant edition :') We hiked Table Rock in South Carolina when my daughter was under a year old. We lived in SC shortly and this was the only major hike that we accomplished. Calling it "major" is an understatement, honestly. It was a very emotional experience for me. I was still struggling from postpartum depression, had severe anxiety, was extremely insecure of how my body looked, and overall just didn't feel good. This hike changed my outlook on myself and the world around me. Table Rock face as seen from the road. Even now it's insane putting into perspective how small and insignificant we all are, compared to natural beauties such as this. But this isn't meant to get that deep. BRB, I'm just getting emotional over how small and baby she is here. She was just barely sitting up on her own at this age. Bye. Whoever's cutting onions over here needs to give me a break. The start of the hike was pretty easy, as most are. A distra...

Last month, my husband came to me beaming about a mountain hike in the Smokies. The last mountain hike we had done - correction, the last hike we had done at all, period - was a year earlier. We planned an overnight trip, packed our bags, and drove five hours to Tennessee.  Upon our arrival, we parked in a Walmart lot and set up "camp." It was handy having the store right there, because we quickly realized how unprepared we were. We had somehow managed to overpack things we didn't really need, and forget almost all the necessities. We improvised, and - spoiler alert - it all worked out just fine. After spending a night crammed in the back of our little SUV, we set off bright and early for... we didn't know. There are a ton of great hikes in Gatlinburg, and I suggested we tackle some shorter hikes, given the fact we hadn't hiked at all in a year.  As we were driving to a short hike that neither of us was particularly excited about, we unexpectedly and unanimously d...

  The last time my husband and I had been to the Red River Gorge was on our honeymoon. We moved to Cincinnatti, OH nearly a year ago; for nearly a year one of us would occasionally say to the other, "we should go back to the Gorge this weekend." Spoiler alert: it never happened. Until last weekend, when my husband packed up the diaper bag, sneakily grabbed my hiking shoes, and told me we were going for a walk to the park. Two and a half hours later, we were parked at the Daniel Boone Coffee Shop, energizing ourselves for the trek ahead of us.  We chose the Auxier Ridge trail, and followed the 5 mile loop. After hiking a 10 mile moutnain the previous weekend, I figured it would be easy money, but towards the end my exercise induced asthma kicked in and my will to live was slowly dwindling. I highly highly highly  recommend investing in a good quality baby carrier. The ErgoBaby 360 was a wonderful choice. As I share more photos from previous hikes, you'll see that carrier a...

  image and graphics source: Canva When I found out I was pregnant I had only been working at my new job for two months. I wanted to return to the workplace part time, but a couple of months before my maternity leave would have begun, HR informed me that part time employment wasn't an option. I had to choose between trusting a stranger - or my mother - with my 6 week old baby, or to stay at home like my mom had done.  2020's economy was tough, but in hindsight it hardly compares to today's. We could buy a week's worth of groceries, meats and snacks and fresh produce included, for roughly $40. Now we buy maybe one type of meat for the week, ingredients to make snacks like granola bars, and a small selection of fresh produce, for twice that much.  So how do we make it work? How are we even staying afloat? A few things that work for us: We live outside of the city where a one-bedroom apartment ranges from $900 to $1,300 on average, depending on the location. We were lucky...

  image source: Canva Welcome to the first edition of TBH, where I talk get down into the nitty gritty of what parenthood actually  looks like for me. When I first entered parenthood, I was told time and time again how great things would be, how children are God's greatest gift, and everything depicted on social media was just sunshine and daisies. Nobody told me that I might not bond with my child right away. Nobody prepared me for the intense physical pain recovering from birth would bring. Nobody told me that sometimes a person who has just given birth can experience extremely vivid dreams - sometimes hallucinations while awake.  And thus, TBH was born. I believe all parents should feel safe and welcome to share their truths about what parenthood looks like for them. Rather than being met with judgement or feigned optimism, parents need to hear that they aren't alone. Also, getting professional help is never wrong, imo.  As I sail through the motions of everyday l...

Friendly warning: I overshare quite a bit. It's a lengthy read. :)  One of the first blogs I ever made :') I, like many of my friends, started a blog way way waaaaaayyy back in the day. When I was a freshman in high school (2013, if my math is correct), I went through my first of many quarter-life crisises. If I remember correctly, one of my friends had started a lifestyle blog and I quietly followed suit. I thoght to myself, if nothing else, I could look back on my posts as if it was a journal of sorts. I had a ton of half-filled notebooks that I saved throughout the years, but a house fire in 2016 obliterated all of those.  I'll spare the details just this once, but while in recovery from an eating disorder I stumbled upon blogs written by older women who had stories similar to mine, and were on the other side so to speak, holding their hands out for girls like me. I reached out to many of them, joined a small community of foodies and lifestyle bloggers.  Running with S...